Let it go: How exaggerating the reputational costs of revealing negative information encourages secrecy in relationships. Summary Keeping negative interpersonal secrets can decrease well-being; However, people keep negative information secret from friends, family, and loved ones to protect their own reputation. Twelve experiments suggest that these reputation concerns are systematically miscalibrated , creating a misplaced barrier to honesty in relationships. In hypothetical scenarios (Experiments 1, S1, and S2), laboratory experiments (Experiments 2 and 6), and field settings (Experiments 3 and 4), those who imagined revealing, or who actually revealed, negative information they held in mind were expected to secret be judged much more harshly than the recipients are expected to judge them, or actually judged them. We theorize that disclosers’ pessimistic expectations arise not only from the cognitive accessibility of negative information (Experiment S3) but also from a perspective gap such that the negative outcomes of disclosing this information, compared to the positive outcomes, are more accessible. for potential revealers than for potential revealers. recipients. Consistent with this mechanism, disclosers’ expectations were better calibrated when they were directed to focus on positive thoughts or when they were considering disclosing positive information (Experiments 5, 6, and S4). Miscalibrated expectations of disclosers are important because they can guide decisions about whether to reveal information or conceal it as a secret (Experiment S5). As predicted, calibrating disclosers’ expectations increased their willingness to reveal negative information to others (Experiment 7), suggesting that miscalibrated fears of others’ judgment create a misplaced barrier to honesty in relationships. Overestimating the reputational costs of revealing negative information could cause individuals to bear a heavier burden of secrecy than would be optimal for their own well-being. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2023 APA, all rights reserved) |
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University of Texas at Austin
People often keep adverse information about themselves secret because they worry that others will judge them harshly. But those fears are overblown, according to new research.
Inside and outside the workplace, people often keep adverse information about themselves secret because they worry that others will judge them harshly. But those fears are overblown , according to new research from the McCombs School of Business. In fact, when study participants overcame fear to reveal a secret, those they trusted were significantly more charitable than they expected.
"When we think about conveying negative information about ourselves, we focus on the content of the message," said study co-author Amit Kumar, assistant professor of marketing at Texas McCombs. "But recipients think about the positive traits necessary to reveal this secret, such as trust, honesty and vulnerability ."
Kumar cites several key findings from the 12 experiments in his paper, co-authored with Michael Kardas of Oklahoma State University and Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago.
Expectations too low
The researchers asked several groups to imagine revealing a negative secret and predict how another person would judge them. They then asked each participant to reveal the secret to that person and collected the recipients’ responses. The expected trial was consistently worse than the actual trial.
Miscalibrated expectations
People were driven to reveal or conceal based on how they thought others would evaluate them. "If we believe that other people will think we are less trustworthy, that can really affect our decision to withhold information," Kumar says.
However, in the experiments the revelation had the opposite effect . Recipients rated the honesty and trustworthiness of the disclosers higher than the disclosers expected.
Through relationships. Participants divulged secrets to strangers, acquaintances, close friends, family members, and romantic partners, all with similar results. Says Kumar: "Their expectations were slightly more accurate for people close to them, but they were still systematically miscalibrated, even for the closest people in their lives."
Dark vs. Light Secrets
Participants revealed a wide range of negative information, from admitting that they had never learned to ride a bicycle to confessing infidelity. They predicted that more serious secrets would lead to worse trials.
But even for the darkest secrets, they overestimated the impact. "The magnitude of what you’re revealing may affect people’s evaluations, but it also affects your expectations about those evaluations," Kumar says.
Honesty feels good
In one study, researchers told participants what they had learned: that people overestimate the negative impact of disclosures. The news changed participants’ attitudes toward greater openness.
When challenged to confess that they had told a lie, only 56% of participants did so. But in another group, where participants were told they were unlikely to be judged harshly, 92% chose to reveal their lies.
"There is a psychological burden associated with secrecy," Kumar says. "If we can alter people’s expectations to make them more in line with reality, they might be more transparent in their relationships."
Build trust with coworkers. Although none of the experiments were conducted in business settings, Kumar says the lessons can be applied there.
"Any comprehensive understanding of how to function in the workplace includes a better understanding of how people think, feel and behave," he says. "When transgressions arise in the workplace, people should consider that they also reveal warmth, trust and honesty when they are open and transparent in disclosing negative information."
Reference : Kardas, M., Kumar, A., & Epley, N. (2023). Let it go: How exaggerating the reputational costs of revealing negative information encourages secrecy in relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000441
